"When Henry Kissinger wins the Nobel Peace Prize, there's just nowhere for political satire to go"
~Tom Lehrer, on his retirement.
Q: What would you like to be the number-one killer?
A: Heart attacks for150 year-olds indulging in sex with 20-year-old twins" has my vote.
~ Isaac Asimov
If you like laws and sausage, you should never watch either
being made.
~ Otto von Bismarck
Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example
makes a wonderful ancestor.
~ Lawrence J. Peter
I really hate this damn machine,
I think that I will sell it.
It never does just what I want,
But only what I tell it.
~ author unknown
Those who cast the votes decide nothing.
Those who count the votes decide everything.
~Josef Stalin
Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."
~Franklin Pierce Adams
Software is like a gas. if expands to fill any container.
Software makes Moore's Law possible.
~Gordon Bell
Did you hear about the fence around Clemson, Yep! the Carolinas finally got a Zoo..
~anonymous
There is nothing so susceptible to the secret manipulations of evil men as a democracy.
Plutarch, circa 120 AD
Sometimes at parties, I tend to drink too much, and I end up under the host.
~ Dorothy Parker
If Mathematics had never been invented, physics would have been set back a week.
~R. Feynman
Between two evils, I always pick the one I haven't tried yet.
~Mae West
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~Socrates
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a dyslexic?
A person who doesn't believe in a dog.
~Anonymous
You should make a point of trying every experience once (at least),
excepting incest and folk-dancing.
~Paul Greenwood
Two functions that should never be delegated: Fatherhood and Proofreading
~E, Miya
Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht. ("Subtle is the Lord, but malicious, He isn't.")
~ Albert Einstein
Die ganzen Zahlen hat der liebe Gott gemacht, alles andere ist Menschenwerke.
~ Leopold Kronecker
Math lecturer: "We can make a small negligence here."
~anon
Pi seconds is a nanocentury
~Tom Duff/Bell Labs