These words come from George A. Michael, physicist extraordinaire.
Anything with science in its name isn't. ~J. Brady/LLNL
Majoring in Computer Science as an undergraduate is a waste of time. Far better is something like L. Pauling (Chenical Engineering) or even better, Physics, (If you want to be a physicist, you must do three things - first, study mathematics, second, study advanced mathematics, and third, repeat steps one and two. D. Kelves) or best of all, Mathematics. You can study CS in graduate school, when it will do you the most good.
Testing can prove the existence of bugs, but not their absence. ~E. Dijkstra
A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. ~Doug Linder
So, with these caveats, here is some stuff I've used repeatedly. One caution: I have tried consistently, to cite the sources. Explicitly, I am not claiming any authorship. If the quote has no attribution, it's because I either screwed up, or didn't know who should be cited
This was sent by Sam Coleman:
Today's Honorary Computational Inspiration is the colorful movie producer Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974). Born Shmuel Gelbfisz in Warsaw, he arrived in the United States in 1899 and became a successful glove salesman before eventually getting involved in show business. His first film production company released The Squaw Man in 1914, directed by Cecil B. DeMille. Goldwyn was ousted from the company before the merger that produced Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, but his roaring lion trademark remained as the symbol of that company. He created a new organization called The Samuel Goldwyn Company, specializing in films with high production values. Among the more than 70 films he produced were Porgy and Bess (1959), Guys and Dolls (1955), The Bishop's Wife (1947), The Best Years of Our Lives (1946), The Pride of the Yankees (1942), The Little Foxes (1941), The Westerner (1940), and Wuthering Heights (1939). A man with a special way with words, he is famous for such wonderful "Goldwynisms" as: "An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." "I had a great idea this morning, but I didn't like it." "Gentlemen, include me out." "A hospital is no place to be sick." "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." "I read part of it all the way through." "If I look confused it's because I'm thinking." "That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg." "Never make forecasts, especially about the future." And perhaps the best of them all: "I don't want yes men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs." ~S. Goldwyn
Never attribute to Malevolence what simple Incompetence will explain. ~K S Booth
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. ~John Blunden
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, who said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" --Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981
The bustard's an elegant fowl
With minimal reason to scowl.
He escapes what would be
Illegitimacy
By grace of one fortunate vowel.
Subject: DOS vs. Macs The following excerpts are from an English translation of Umberto Eco's back-page column, "La bustina di Minerva," in the Italian news weekly "Espresso," September 30, 1994. ...."Insufficient consideration has been given to the new underground religious war which is modifying the modern world. It's an old idea of mine, but I find that whenever I tell people about it they immediately agree with me. "The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the 'ratio studiorum' of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach--if not the Kingdom of Heaven--the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: the essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation. "DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can reach salvation. To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: a long way from the baroque community of revellers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own innter torment. "You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counter-reformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It's true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions; when it comes down to it, you can decide to allow women and gays to be ministers if you want to. .... "And machine code, which lies beneath both systems (or environments, if you prefer)? Ah, that is to do with the Old Testament, and is talmudic and cabalistic..."
A lecture is the process whereby information is transferred from the notebook of a teacher to the notebook of a student without passing through the mind of either. ~casey There has been an alarming increase in the number of things I know absolutely nothing about. ~ Anon
Subject: sun's quotable quotes There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. C.A.R. Hoare A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Doug Linder As a wise programmer once said, "Floating point numbers are like sandpiles: every time you move one, you lose a little sand and you pick up a little dirt. And after a few computations, things can get pretty dirty. Kernighan & Plauger The Elements of Programming Style Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers. Robert Hummel Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt. Blair P. Houghton, regarding C Code indentation
A UNIX Carol better ~pout | ~cry better watchout lpr why santa clausetown cat /etc/passwd >list ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist cat list | grep nice >giftlist santa clause town who | grep sleeping who | grep awake who | grep 'bad|good' for (goodness sake) { be good } Happy holidays!
A good notation sets the mind free to think about really important things. ~Alfred North Whitehead.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
PROGRAMMING PEARLS ~Jon Bentley, [CACM, Sept 1985; V28.No. 9]